Some Enchanted Evening…and some good cheese, too

 So I’m hanging out at the Grand Opening celebration of the Clayton Pioneer, hob-nobbing with my fellow scribes, local residents, friends and assorted council members.  The latter, having heard about the free wine and cheese, turned out in force. Fortunately beer was not on the menu or SOME of them might be there still.  You know who you are.

And so it was that after many months I was finally able to meet some of the others that slave so diligently under the lashing whip of Editor in Chief, Tamara Steiner; Garden Girl, Nicole Hackett, “avid” hiker, Kevin Parker, Life Coach, Dory Willer and astrologer Janet Bowman-Johnson were just some of the talented contributing writers that came to show their support and walk the tight rope of love and fear with Tamara.  We cowered together near the cheese platters,  smiling bravely whenever she strode past.  We made RIDICLOUS promises about meeting deadlines, writing “kitschier” headlines and, in my case, managing to actually be funny.  ANYTHING to assuage her editorial ferocity and get back to the free wine.

I too had come to show my support for the paper but also so as not to disappoint my public whom, believe it or not was spilling into the streets. Although now that I think about it, those could have been the Mudville patrons, come to watch the Cubs go down like goats on slaughtering day.  And at least for the next 24 hours I was able to say with no hesitation, “Go Red Sox!”. But then the Bambino’s Curse struck again.  Can you say  “Go Fish”?

So anyway, back to the shindig.  It’s always quite interesting to actually meet one’s “public”.  I was a little surprised however as I really hadn’t expected questions like “So what do you write for the paper?”  Normally one’s public is better informed.  One woman asked if I wrote the computer column and as I stood there trying to explain what I actually DO write for the paper I began to consider the idea of getting a new public. But times are tough and one cannot be choosy. 

In all honesty, her question was valid.  I began to realize that mine is essentially the only column without any instructional, informative or educational substance to speak of.  You want fluff—you’ve come to the right place baby.  This column’s LOUSY with fluff.  As one astute (OK, why sugar coat it? Intoxicated) reveler commented, it’s like the Sienfeld of columns.  It’s about nothing.

But on that point I must disagree.  It’s not about nothing; it’s about you.  It’s always been about you, Dear Reader, you and your happiness.  What point does life have if we cannot bring a ray of sunshine into the lives of others, a smile to someone’s face at a time when they may be at their lowest?  They say that laughter is the best medicine so damn it I’m gonna be your Dr. Gutbuster.  I write for you, my public, for the Joe Kratz’ and the Susan Paulines’ (by the way, keep those cards and e-mails coming. I may rate a paycheck yet) and for every starry eyed kid that’s ever dreamt,  “Hey, I’d like a job where I can get paid to do…nothing.”  To that kid I say, Amen.

I write for all of you.  I’m on the front lines every day, dealing with the tedious minutiae of life, mining it for humorous nuggets so that I might make your world a happier place, if only once every few weeks.  I ask no thanks for my efforts, no rewards.  Knowing I’ve affected you for the better is reward enough.  Oh sure, if you’d like to make the occasional small contribution to the Arts to help defray the cost of ink cartridges and floppy discs, checks may be sent in care of the Pioneer, but please, only give until it hurts, I beseech you.

So back to the party.  Many compliments were paid, hands were shook, backs were slapped, deals were struck and coups were plotted.  In short, a great time was had by all.  I had my fill of cheese and my public had their fill of me. We all went home full and happy.

 BIO: Clayton resident, Joe Romano is a free-lance writer for hire. He can be contacted at jromano01@yahoo.com